Essence of Life

Its 11.30 in the night. I look outside my window. It has been raining for quite some time now. Its all dark and wet outside, and something inside me compels me to believe that somewhere inside me is a child crying out of desperation to free herself. Maybe its because of the fact that life being so much like a meandering river with no obstacles coming by that despite how much effort one puts in to make the water agitate, it becomes calm after a handful of seconds. And it continues to flow with the same serenity as it was earlier.
The background noises fade into a disturbing hum to which my mind has stopped responding. Brain is feeling really lethargic like a proud snail perched up on a slimy pebble near the beach, with small tiny waves hitting the pebble from time to time. A shiver runs down my spine as a sudden wave of cold moist breeze hits my face through the window. The noise of raindrops falling on the ground fills up the air. The chaotic disturbances in the wave patterns on the stagnant water accumulated in the puddle outside astonishes me. Life isn’t always that predictable. Though, one might feel that he can foresee what’s coming up, it rarely happens that way. Its all in the mind I say. I have an exam the day after tomorrow and I still am unsure of my preparation. The thought that I can visualize myself sitting in the examination hall and struggling to get the answer of a question scares me, I know that I still cant tell what’s the “Day” is going to be like.
At times we perceive what we want to perceive and at times its just coz of the people around us want us to perceive. Have we ever stopped for a moment in our busy lives and wondered how it would be like if we just wanted to do the things we do for satisfaction, and not because we are a part of the rat-race around? Well, what I am saying is all very idealistic, but yet we do have moments in life when we just want to leave everything aside and be with ourselves, just ourselves! And that is the time when we actually realize that the things we are doing now contribute minimal in our lives. As once somebody has said, that if I am what I am coz you are what u are, then I am what I am and you are what you are…but if it’s the other way round, then nobody knows himself. The essence of the above statement lies in the fact that how much time one spends being himself. We wear masks in our lives, smiling ones, laughing ones, angry ones…even when we are not in that emotional state. But when have we just been ourselves? Taken off that mask and thrown in away, to face the world when its “looking” into your “face” ? I bet most of us fear that, and that’s pretty normal, but way off from a ‘satisfying normal’ ! Stripping off ourselves from all kinds of worldly fears, be it fear of failure, be it fear of losing someone you love or be it the fear of getting lost in the crowd. Opening the doors to let thoughts and ideas flow in along with dangers and confusions. But that’s what life is all about, right?. A young energetic river with rapids and eddies, not a lazy snail on a pebble. A bright green grasshopper popping in and out of the grass, not a hippo idling its time in a grubby pond. It’s a journey on a roller coaster, letting down your hair, feeling the wind across your face….its an adventure and that too with extreme risks. But one realizes that when he looks outside the window!