For the previous post

For some who want to know it all, the last post was a real-life experience!
I rarely make up stories for subjects which are closest to my heart!
(Or should I use another organ's name! Well, I'll leave it for a few creative minds)

Enjoy :)

I'm back!!

Beware!
Don't read unless you know ME really well!

Okay, enough of warning..I'm kinda sick of giving them though!

So here I go!

Few facts about Shit and the process involved in doing it:-

1) It always comes when you are driving at 80kmph on a really amazing flyover at 7.15 am. You are 20 minutes away from home.
2) The moment you step into the house, its gone! (Sucked up by some inexplicable and uncontrollable force that has decided to punish you for a crime you committed the previous night, actually two nights back...mmm..well, I think its a mixture!)
3) When you are there in the proper position, it refuses to come out!
4) Once it comes out, the phone rings or there is someone at the door.
5) The moment you go out to get hold of the rascal trying to disturb you in the middle of your holy ceremony, it turns out that the rascal doesn't even know you (Either wrong number or a bunch of kids trying to have some fun with the door bell!!)
6) Coz its winters, by the time you are back, the seat is ice cold again!
7) It refuses to come out again! Gotta do something to please it out!
8) Again, as I said before, as it is winters, the water too is freezing!
9) Somehow, the toilet paper is finished!
10) Yes, I am obsessed. Yes, I gotta go..

Itsy coldy coldy, pappy!

Okay okay, let me face the critics first! (Though I know not many people would be reading this, but just to be on the safe side..)
The title- Yes! I know its pathetic. The reason being that it was derived from my status msg on gtalk, which infact was derived from a spontaneous remark by yours truly when a icy gust of wind caught my face!
The tone- Yeah yeah, very very very very kiddish! Bah, who cares! (btw, pappy=father)

So coming back, today was a good day, great infact. I got up early in the morning and drove at around 80kmph at seven 0 clock in the morning. Sure, there were lots of other events in between my getting up and driving, but I chose not to give the details. For many, 80kmph is not a big deal! But considering the facts that I've not been driving for very long, I ususally never cross (read: not allowed to cross) 60kmph and that my father was sitting beside me in the car reading the newspaper (luckily), I felt rather surprised and satisfied after my odessey (big word for a small thing! Bah, who cares!).

Its cold, real cold, I mean real real cold! And my extremeties are rather sensitive and tend to go numb. By extremeties I mean fingers and toes. Temperatures dropping to over 5 degrees here in Delhi, its best not to come out of your socks and cap! Though I still cant see the fog, smog is everywhere! No sun at any time of the day and light wind blowing throughtout the day, enough to make a chic freeze!

Holy crap! I cant feel my toes, chaa, time to take my feet for a hot water n steam bath! :)

Coffee stirred Night

Soemtimes, time really flies fast. It has never happened before but this semester has been the fastest semester of my life. Considering the fact that we've been kept busy with loads of assignments, lab reports, quizzes, and all the other stuff anyone could think of for an "engineering student", I really feel drained, drained as never before...So much so that now that I look back at the past 5 months, it looks like I've been slogging for ages, yet its a blink of an eye.

I am desperate.
Not desperate to eat.
Not desperate to drink.
Not desperate to go to bed.
I'm just desperate to live, and all I want at the end of the day is a few spare minutes alone...with myself, with life!

And yeah, I wanna go home!

So even though our exams and all that crap was supposed to get over on the last and final day of college ergo 30th of November, unofficially its still on..on, like it has always been over the past 5 months. We have 2 huge assignments to submit and there is just no motivation. I dont feel quite good when I write this coz I've been a preacher of "inner motivation" and stuff like that. But still, I do feel pathetic at times.

Yesterday was my last exam. And I was happy. I am happy. Handful of friends including myself, went out to a nearby eating joint and had some pure fun. Did crazy things, sucked on ice cubes numbing our gums so bad that we couldn't speak, drank dark coffee, decided to drink the thick concentrated Expresso 60mL shot the next time we come in coz the person giving the coffee scared us off by saying it was "real strong"..it was great and I've never felt so joyous in a long time now. I wanna feel that way, but somehow it just doesn't get there!

But while going back, just one thought was coming to me over and over again. How long? And I got my answer as soon as I entered my hostel- I had two more assignments to finish before I could sit and think about things that I wanted to think about. Assignements! A piece of filth for the taker and piece of filth for the giver. But its important filth, else we'll get filth in return! So we make filth and give filth. Thats all we do all our bloody lives! DEVIATION FROM THE TOPIC!

Anyways, I'm sitting in the department computer facility and writing this. I stayed up till 6.00am today and slept for about 3 hours in all. Its no big deal here, but the fact that its my third nightout since I've come here, its special. I dont know if I should call it Special Good or Special Bad..it just is! I did have a great time staying up when the world was sleeping, chatting with a friend of mine and cursing the prof who had given us this assignment, moreso agreed to accept the submission after the end semesters (couldn't he have just cancelled the submission!!!)

Right now, or to be specific, some hours back, it would be justified in my saying that I hated my life! But I dont feel it that way now. I dont know what has changed over the past few hours, apart from the fact that I submitted my assignmetns, but still, it doesn't feel that bad anymore. I am exhausted from a "no-sleep-no-food and assignment-submission" combination, my head hurts, my back hurts, my stomach hurts..but life doesn't anymore...and thats whats most important.

I am going home.. and I like it!

The Brain Trail

Yeah yeah, I know its been pretty long since I set fingers on to my keyboard to be directed towards this blog of mine. But considering the fact that I'm in my third year now (which, my dear friends, is no where close to being busy, its actually Lt n->infinity {(very)^n} busy )
Okay, stopping the gibberish, the reason why I was reminded of my blog today was because I just returned from my C slot end semester exam ergo Ocean Wave Hydrodynamics. There cant be a better prof-subject combination that this. The prof is a great guy, i mean literally great and that leads to the subject being even better.
So, our man, in the last class before the 2nd Quiz says "Students, the quiz paper is tough, so please apply your brains and solve it. Once you get the hint, you'll be done with it in no time!" So, before the quiz day I fully brainstormed myself with a dish of arguments, counter arguments, peppered with extra thinking and finally a garnishing of "what if...!!"
Early morning, 8 o clock exam, and the prof hands me over the paper. The beauty of this subject is that the prof gives only one question to solve in one hour and three questions in three hours (ok, that was a redundant statement). Nevertheless, I happily start thriting and wrinking (thinking+writing). After 20 minutes into the paper, like a sudden flash of lightining, a concept strikes me. And it strikes me so hard that I almost jump up from my chair. And with a kilometer wide smile on my face, I complete my paper.
50 minutes down the line, everybody comes out of the exam hall. Like always I start discussing the answers and then suddenly figure out that what I did was way too extra for the problem. Conclusion: I followed exactly what the prof had said, and that too in an intensified manner, APPLIED BRAINS!
Anyways, I was hoping that I'd score less than 50% in that exam, but the prof, as i had mentioned earlier, is a great guy. So I end up scoring 85% and am truly happy.
And this whole story means something - I just gave the proof of something that people say very often: HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF!

Please pray for me!
:)

Heaven and the

One footprint into the wet sand,
A couple more.
I walk beside the shining waters,
A heaven on Earth, the shore!

Moist, salty wind,
Sea mollusks scattered all around,
Some alive, souls of the rest,
I feel free, no longer bound!

Glistening waves, ruffling, rippling.
Touch of the cold bubbles,
Froth floating on twisting curls,
I forget all wordly troubles.

A path sewn to the yellow moon,
Threads of reflection,
The golden ray till eternity,
Is this reality or deception?

Competing with the Sun,
The Orange-yellow sphere of cold fire,
The Moon, rising, shining.
Mind going into a spire!

I spread my arms,
Trying to fly,
Close my eyes,
Giving out a soft cry!

A new wind blows past my face,
One of happiness and hope,
A hand grips mine,
My despair flows down the slope!

A conforting touch,
A cozy hug,
A friendly warmth,
Snug!

Two footprints into the wet sand,
Then four ,
We walk beside the shining waters,
This is reality, I ask for no more!

.........

Mild yellow sunrays break though
the invisible barriers
of baige glass.

But the wind stays
out, making the leaves dance
in a silent chaos.

I can feel the heat, I can't see it
I can see the wind, I can't feel it

The bamboo shoot peeping
through the window,
I look back at it.

It pops back into place,
As if to take a glimpse
of me,
I know its the wind, I don't
want to believe it!

Again, I see it, I can't feel it!

Cotton clouds cover uncover
the sun,
swimming across the blue sky.
Slant rays, they are
Still have the heat, mild, dim

Again I feel it, I can't see it!

Elongating the shadows, moving the leaves
Stretching the limits, mobilising the thoughts.

I see it, I feel it !!

Too long..

The bright red-golden Sun,
The glimmering light in the morning sky,
The white clouds playing hide and seek,
The rays, too long..too long..

The dew like diamonds on the leaves,
The morning wetness suspended in the air,
The delicate tulip still drowzy,
The grass, too long..too long..

The only footprint in the wet mud,
The catterpillar still digging into it,
The small ants walking in a line,
The path, too long..too long..

The walk across the damp woods,
The crush of dry leaves under my foot,
The darkeness creeping into the night,
The nights, too long..too long..

The lonliness settling in the wind,
The void deepening into a hollow,
The sound of silence filling my ears,
The wait, too long..too long..

Heaven and the Footprints

One footprint into the wet sand,
A couple more.
I walk beside the shining waters,
A heaven on Earth, the shore!

Moist, salty wind,
Sea mollusks scattered all around,
Some alive, souls of the rest,
I feel free, no longer bound!

Glistening waves, ruffling, rippling.
Touch of the cold bubbles,
Froth floating on twisting curls,
I forget all wordly troubles.

A path sewn to the yellow moon,
Threads of reflection,
The golden ray till eternity,
Is this reality or deception?

Competing with the Sun,
The Orange-yellow sphere of cold fire,
The Moon, rising, shining.
Mind going into a spire!

I spread my arms,
Trying to fly,
Close my eyes,
Giving out a soft cry!

A new wind blows past my face,
One of happiness and hope,
A hand grips mine,
My despair flows down the slope!

A conforting touch,
A cozy hug,
A friendly warmth,
Snug!

Two footprints into the wet sand,
Then four ,
We walk beside the shining waters,
This is reality, I ask for no more!

Magical fingers..

Many of us have always wanted to be close to our dreams. I always wanted to be invisible..my childhood dream, I still remember. But what if your dream is sitting right infront of you, and all you have to do is gather the determination and go ahead and capture it. Well, this post is dedicated to Ajit...one of my very close friends.
I, with a couple of my great buddies landed up at his place yesterday 'coz we had planned to eat out, go to the beach and have some fun. Well, I've been to his place before and everytime I enter his room, I invariably get hit by this radiating aura of music!! I call it 'hit' 'coz its too much for me to handle..Yeah, thats what his dream is..to be a part of a big band!!
And there, right to the left of his room..(the 'right' is not a direction, its more like "the book is right there"...you got it, right?...ok..let me not say any more rights now...NO NO...not the civil ones..!!! AARRGGGHHH...) Right, so where were we? Ahaan, his room. Yepp, so there in his room is this huge synthesizer, and trust me, no'man' has ever attracted me as strongly as this musical instrument has! Its huge, its techy, its got loads of functions...and man its so awesome!! And all I do when I enter his room is just look, look, look...and look....
This guy, Aji as I call him, is a true genius. He just places his fingers on the keys, and they move as if in a predecided pattern and when I ask him if he had this tune in mind, he gives me one of his smiles and says no! I mean, man...I'm just speechless!! I recall once when I was struggling to play the tune of "Mary had a little lamb" (yeah yeah, laugh off..I know thats what my level is!!) and I just couldn't figure out a note. He comes over me, places his magical fingers on the keyboard and plays the whole nursery rhyme! Whoa..I was just spell bound..seriously.
Tunes I've never heard before, music I've never found so soothing and smooth. His fingers are truely blessed...and so is his keyboard to be played by a fine musician like him.
Have faith in yourself Aji, you'll make it real big someday. All the best for everything!!

Speck-tacular!!

Dharik, also known as Virgin/Dhanian, is a great friend of mine..
But unfortunately this creature has a real bad habit of clicking snaps for his cell camera. I think its time to show you guys something I found really funny and couldn't help putting up.

Looks all 'Wiper'-ed out..eh..??


'Paaaaaaaapi' - Phew!


I swear to God Almighty I didn't 'Spank' him...(maybe the Chicago Bulls did!)


Just wondering, whats so 'Mechanic'-al in all this?


Ahh...meet our tennis wizard - 'Sania' Vijayaraghavan


Somebody said a little too much...its revenge time now!! Muhuhaaaa...

A 'Nu-shi'-mmering star in the Literary space...or shall I say Secretary..??


And finally...

Still a 'Virgin'..?? I doubt it!! ;)

Just for your information...none of the above..except Spanky wear specks!! :)
Enjoy..

The kid in the yellow night-dress

I have absolutely no idea why the Airtel people think that I am really really interested in the new towns added to Tamil Nadu! And some people out here reading my blog would be wondering whats that gotta do with the kid in the yello night-dress...Well, just hang on for a while, I'll come to it eventually...
Ya, so where was I? Yaah, Airtel...so I've been getting these 'new towns added to Tamil Nadu' messages, and lemme tell you guys..its pissing when you get a zillion of them in a day! But today I got a message I actually read..it was about this 1110 recharge on which you get 1007 talktime, and 6 months validity. Though, I still dont have a boyfriend whom I can call (and this is not written coz I want one, but just a passing comment!!) it looked like a fair deal. Apparently, today was the last day to get the recharge done. So I, with a couple of my buddies, cycled upto to gurunath to get the recharge done. (Now the kid comes into picture..)
So, while returning back I saw this little kid (maybe a few inches shorter than me...yippee!! there is someone here who is shorter than me!! ) who was with his dad (a prof..i guessed). A cute kid, maybe 4 yrs of age, jumping and hopping here and there, munching a cookie, dressed in a bright yellow night dress, a naughty twinkle in his eye...he reminded me of the kid whom I want to keep alive in me. Kids are just adoreable..giggly, innocent, sweet, charming. I never resist myself from socializing with any kid I come accross, so I happily went upto the kid, bent down a bit, ran my fingers through his soft hair, and said, "Hello, whats your name?" And to my joy, he replied, "Hello, my name is...brrushghh". Just in case you are wondering what his name was..well, I couldn't figure out myself. His mouth was stuffed with cookies..so it sounded a little bad. Nevertheless, not seeming dejected, a gave a wide smile to the kid, who smiled back at me and then to his dad. That done, I hopped my way back to my cycle!
My day was made!! I wanna be a kid again!! But then, I just was one a few minutes back...

Baahh..

Saarang 2006 is over. My digestive juices are longer working 'coz five days on continuous hogging on junk has left my tummy crying and my room stinky...(sorry but I cant help but mention such stuff...come on..it's in me for heavens sake!!) Ya, so where were we..? Ahaan, the meals..okay lets pack that coz talking alot about the gross stuff has kind of given rise to loads of 'no comments' and loads of no comments!!
Anyways, quizzes starting in a couple of weeks and I have no clue how 'm gonna start planning my mug sessions. I've seen a bit of lib now but cant get over the fact that I stayed away from it for so long...5 freakin' days...DAMN..!! Anyways, time lost is lost...and time that is left is waiting to be lost...naaahh..bad attitude..should be like this..time lost was fun, the time that is left will be fun too..!!
But infact I'm kinda happy that Saarang is over (okay...please dont kill me for saying that!!) But the work that had been done for that left all of us exhausted. Less than a meal a day, 3-4 hours of sleep, working on ur knees for hours...I mean come on man, who wouldnt want the pleasure of a soft bed at the end of the day...with a soft toy..(ok, perverted minds stay out...I meant my purple soft toy donkey with which I sleep every night, the best night partner I've ever had!!! PS: I havent tried many though, there was once a cow, once a teddy and once a fish-a bright yellow and orange one!! )
Hah..again digressed off the track..thats fine...'m too used to myself!!
SO guys, hold on to ur books and notebooks (if u have any) coz the mug ride has started!!!
KABOOOMMM!!! (well..thats whats gonna happen in a couple of weeks from now!!)
All the best...

M(ost) U(nbelieving) C(atastrophe) U('d ever) S(ee)

Yet another gross one..!!

It was 3.23 am by my watch. Everything was darkand I am all snuggled up in my white bedsheet. And there was a heavy traffic jam in my left nostrill. Yeah...I've got a really bad cold...The right one was very clear...but that too was creating a problem. Anyways, I got up and applied some Vicks Vaporub (Ek dava chhe asar!!). The best thing about it is that it clears the passage instantly and if you rub it on your forehead, throat and chest..its even better. So I do so..but I forgot to mention one important thing..rubbing it over ur eyes may cause irritation and even tears...But I like an idiot happily rub my eyes after applying it. (I still remember the day I made a pizza out of my eye by rubbing in paparika-ed and origano-ed fingers into my eyes..!!)

Okay, this is not good...tears flowing out of my eyes..I bet they looked like one mad man's.
To add to the fizz, the mucus of my nose "melted" away, resulting in a reduced viscosity and density...Stuff trickling down my eyes and nose...streaming towards my mouth and before I could dig in for my hanky...Shit!! Warm..Salty...mmm.. Holy crap!! I need a hanky!!...I need a bloody hanky!!...somebody gimme a hanky...pleeeezzzz...!! Suddenly out of nowhere I realise Ive caught hold of a hanky.. And I blow out with as much thrust I can into my hanky..AAAHHH...relief!!! The left was still blocked and the right giving way to cold hair hitting my inner nose like a chilly wind of -13.5 deg C...(okay, that was an exaggeration!!) But it was pretty painful..so I sleep on my right side to move the mucus to my right one so that there would be some relief to my poor little left one!! Its working..yea..its working..I could feel the mucus flowing from the left to the right side and a small miniature vaccum being created in the left one..man..!! This mucus is f****** thick, slimy...For a split second I felt cold air enter my left one..and it was heavenly..turst me..I smiled like a teenage kid being gifted a bike!! But..wait..no no..please don't go...this is impossible...NAAA...the mucus reversed its track and went back settling into the left one..blocking it again...My mucus just proved Newton wrong..I saw anti-gravity in my nose..Whoa!!!
And then again...it moved on to my right one..and I dunno for how long this juggling continued 'coz I guess that would've been the worrssht thing to concentrate on. Last thing I remember, before falling off to a snore, was that there was a thin film of mucus going up and down my left one as i breathed.

PS:The hanky i had caught hold of was infact my bed sheet!!! And I have put it for washing..may the mucus rest in peace...

The Ultimate pleasure of life (err…morning!!)

PS:WARNING!! DANGER!! AAHH..ANYTHING TO WARD OFF READERS WITH EVEN SLIGHTLY WEAK STOMACHS...PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IF YOU FOUND THE 'ITCH' POST HORRID...THIS WILL KILL YOU THEN!! I know this is the grossest post I've ever written, but nevertheless I've enjoyed it the most till date. I am the way I am..so please excuse me!! Now you'll know why 'm called SHIT...enjoy reading... :)

Its 6.27 in the morning. I am on my bed, eyes wide open. Though my alarm is set for 6.30, I still have this urge to switch it off when it shrieks in my ear. But today’s kinda different. The air of the room does not feel that good. Reason, I have been farting like a cow who had a delicious dinner of fresh onions, garlics and turnips. And the bacteria have done their work, mind it ! Aaahh…its really relieving when that small gush of (not so pleasant) air comes out through that hole. Inference of the whole description, the morning air aint that fresh today !!!

I suddenly feel something in my tummy. Hmm…funky feeling!! Looks like something cooking in there…oh shit..!! I sprang up with a jerk, frantically looking for that white bottle of dettol hand wash. My room-mate knows, I am on my way!!

I have heard people say – ‘When a man has to go, he has to go’. Well, now I shall do some contribution to it – ‘When DJ has to go, she has to go’. This 25 meters to the bogs seems like 25 miles to me. I sprint wildly like Marion Jones, just hoping for it not to come out in the middle of my journey !!

Finally, I reach my destination – the bogs !! Aah..what a lovely place man has created for early-morning-tensed souls like me. I just love the guy who came up with the concept. Anywyas, I keep the bottle of dettol on the slab and make my way through to the second one from the left (Well, I like this one coz here is where I first donated when I came here). I pull down every piece of cloth below my waist and sit down in the usual position (Though I love experimenting with various ways to sit, today is not the day to do that). Nobody can ignore the one kilometer smile on my face when the first bit comes out. But considering the fact that I am alone in the toilet, nobody actually notices it. I giggle, my heart exhilarating with sudden gush of immense joy. My senses suddenly rise from slumber. I can smell it now. I can see its colour clearly. Huh…it feels so amazing !!

One of the only reasons I have dinner at the very famous Dhaaba is due to the potpourri of colours the food, and the ‘then’ food, has. I clearly remember, I had Palak Paneer and Paneer Butter masala. For salad, cucumbers and beet roots, pretty colorful. The first one piece of shit (literally, this time..) that comes out with a wet fart. It is green, dark olive green. Its slimy, embedded with light green bubbles. It’s a small blob of semi-solid, looks scary though ! What did the bloody bacteria in my stomach do the food, I wonder. Well, now its time for the second one. Holy shit…this one took a hell lot of time to come out, about 3 seconds. This one was purplish green, maybe due to the beet roots that I had eaten last night. But no bubbles this time. Just pieces of undigested cucumber and peas. Density seems lighter than water. Texture – perfect !! Eeueeu..!! Not very scintillating for my nose though. Smells gross, and as if reading my mind, it sheepishly slips into the pot-hole without even sticking to the shiny pot the maid had cleaned last night.

Hmm…slight pressure released. I am on the cloud nine. Feeling free like a person who has just made his way out of the public toilet. But here the case is kinda opposite. I wonder why people give me that gross look when I say that I like spending time in the bogs. I mean, every single time I go for a visit to the toilet, my room-mate invariably says, “See ya in 15 mins, or maybe more!!!(Giggle.. giggle!!)”. Well well, as far as I am concerned, I don’t really care about how much time I spend in there. Believe me, its worth the happiness and satisfaction !

Now, its getting hot, kinda burning. The Dhaaba’s food had lots of spices. After spending some 14 mins in here, its time to go back. Damn !! Its washing time now. My mom had always told me to wash it with my left hand, but I always used the right one. I switched hands when I came here, dunno why. I open the tap and let the water come out. I wait for the red bucket to get completely filled up. That’s a practice I usually follow. After it is filled up, I dip both my hands into it and then start the ritual. The blue mug is generally kept beside it, so I fill it up – three-quarters full. Then I pour a little water into my left hand that is in the shape of a cup, stretch it backwards and wipe it off. Its very funny why the Americans use tissue paper to wipe it off. That way they never get to know the density, texture and temperature of the shit. It’s a really nice feeling to wash it slowly and steadily, feeling each and every granule of the ‘food of the past’. And when I have diarrhoea, its even better !!

The work is done. I am content. Tummy’s great, heart’s elated. I open the latch with my right hand and shoot straight towards the wash basin. Washing my hands is another great thing. Once that I done, I hop towards my room, my face shining with the joy of glory!!